36 & 37 Weeks Pregnant

I am full term this week! Yay!

And baby girl is as big as a.....

An oddly shaped watermelon! I seriously don't know how she can get much bigger in there. I do not have anymore room. According to most pregnancy resources her movement should be slowing because she's so squished, not my  little one! She's as active as ever and doesn't care that my skin only stretches so much. I've got limbs popping out all the time. I freak everyone out around me because I'm randomly gasping when she does a big sudden kick. I often feel like I'm just going to fall over.

So here's a brief summary of week 36. I spent most of that week being worried about the baby's well being and trying to get everything ready in time for her to be here. I was itchy and nauseated all of the time. I also had some crazy stuff happen on top of the Cholestasis. Like for instance my dad had a heart attack. For those of you who know my dad you know my dad does not treat his body well. He is a hard worker and he will work and work and work until he literally has to spend the next day recovering on the couch because he pushed himself to hard. For years he's been drinking and smoking too much in attempts to try and ignore some of the serious physical pains that he goes through so that he can keep on working and working. He's retired by the way he just couldn't stop working. And after an especially bad busy week he suffered from a heart attack for 3 days straight. Thankfully the heart attack was minor but it was definitely a wake up call and my dad is now taking care of himself. I was terrified of losing my dad, and scared that my daughter wouldn't have her grandfather. The whole incident made me more appreciative of my dad, my family and my pregnancy. But it's been a serious emotional roller coaster for me.

So since I found out I had Obstetric Cholestasis I've changed my diet to less that 40 grams of fat per day, increased my seafood intake, pumped up my fruit intake even more somehow and started drinking hot water with lemon in the mornings and the evenings to help cleanse my liver. And it worked. My last 3 blood tests have come back not only normal but with the lowest possible bile acid score on the scale. My most recent blood test showed that not only were my bile acids perfect but every liver/gall function test was perfect as well. My Dr couldn't believe it and even asked my for my "secrets." He said I pretty much cured myself.

What does that mean exactly? I am still being closely 2 doctors appointments per week, 2 NSTs, blood tests and once per week an ultrasound. But as long as everything keeps coming back normal I WILL NOT be induced! I am so excited to most likely be allowed to have the natural birth that I've always wanted.

And other good news, I have almost all of the signs of prelabor. Which I'm hoping means she's coming sooner than expected anyway. I also have an appointment this Thursday with my masseuse to do some reflexology that supposedly can get me moving along towards labor and delivery.

I still haven't gained any more weight so I'm at a grand total of 32 lbs. I did however notice 3 tiny stretch marks on the underside of my belly and the stretch marks on my hips from puberty have expanded slightly. I've got a few on my thighs as well. If that's all I get I'll consider myself very lucky. Here's the belly the last 2 weeks.

Week 36

Week 37

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34 Weeks Pregnant

34 weeks! I feel so close to meeting her and I'm so excited!

Baby is as big as a....

Yes a Butternut Squash..

And I wouldn't be surprised if she was longer than one. Her head is way way low and her feet mostly reside in my rib cage :)

This week the baby can actually recognize songs that I play around her and react to them. Super neat! Also kind of gross: she's peeing about a pint a day all around herself! lol.

So in week 34 I got over my kidney infection. Yay! Nick and I focused pretty hard on getting the baby room ready. Buying all the stuff we didn't get from the showers and putting it together. There are a few tiny things that need to get done before I can post pictures of the nursery. But I just love it. It's my favorite room in the house and Nick worked so hard to make it perfect I feel so lucky that our daughter gets to be in such an amazing environment with so many cool things.

This week I had a weird pregnancy symptom (itching all over) so I ended up calling the Dr about it and I set up to have blood work this past Friday. It turns out my bile acids are elevated indicating that I have Cholestasis of Pregnancy. This effects aprox. 1 in 1000 pregnancies and is kind of scary. Basically what's happening is my liver is not functioning correctly. My body is producing bile and my liver can not process it so the extra bile stays in my blood stream and can move through the placenta to the baby. Baby's liver can not handle the bile so it can lead to some issues. Overall it's not super dangerous it just changes some things... I need to maintain a healthy low fat diet, I am no longer going to be able to have a natural occurring labor, I will have to be induced, I am not allowed to birth in the natural birthing suite that I had planned on, I am still seeing my midwives but start seeing a new ob in addition to them on Friday, I got for non stress tests twice a week as well as once a week blood draws, I get an ultrasound once per week starting Friday and baby girl will definitely be an October baby.

Not going to lie, this news has been rough. But I'm starting to realize that life does not give a shit about my plan and I need to accept that. I'm working on it. I want what is best for Arya. What's best for her would have been a normal pregnancy and a completely unmedicated natural birth. But under  these circumstances we are now considered high risk and I'm willing to do anything/go through anything to get her out and into our arms okay.

During my kidney infection my weight jumped up pretty high, but it has dropped back down. I was really swollen during that time so I'm guessing it was just water weight. My total pregnancy weight gain so far is 32lbs. I haven't been exercising much at all except for cleaning my house and constantly running errands. And the last time I measured my waist was 44 inches around, prepregnancy was 29 so that's quite a difference!

Here is my belly this week on the left is my belly from Saturday and the right is my belly on Sunday. It appears as though she is starting to drop!

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Weeks 32 & 33

Holy crap I'm 33 weeks. It's insane actually typing that.

This week baby is as big as a....

Can you believe it folks? As big as a weird looking fruit?

She feels super long recently her feets are always hanging out in my ribs or on my stomach or what I imagine is my stomach. This week she's coordinated her breathing and sucking motions. She also keep her pretty little eyes open when she's awake now. D'awwww.

So week 32 & 33 were full of exhaustion and pain and itching.

Week 32 was pretty great it was a little painful and a lot stressful as it was my second baby shower which was mom and sister funded but I had a crap ton of work to do for it. Thanks to Aud and Katrina we got everything done. But I definitely over did myself on the days leading up to the shower. So I wasn't surprised that the day after the shower I was in a lot of pain and super tired.

That Monday I was pushing through the pain as was expected of me and going on with my normal day to day responsibilities. Tuesday I woke up in worse pain but I figured I just pulled my back out and kept going and going. That is until my body physically wouldn't let me. The pain was getting worse and worse and I finally couldn't even get out of bed. That night was a cycle of me being in pain and tolerating it for about an hour then crying for a half an hour then taking a hot bath then falling asleep for 30 min then starting all over again. My mom came over the next morning to help me with the pets. But being the person I am I still ended up doing my dishes and some straightening even though I was in excruciating pain. I had a 12:30 chiropractic appt that day and could not wait to get some relief from what I thought was maybe me "overdoing it." When Katrina called at 11:30 to ask how I was doing she noticed that I was bawling my eye balls out. So she offered to drive me and after refusing her a few times I finally accepted.

When I got to the chiropractor she wanted me to get my massage first to relieve my pain. Bad idea. It was one of my most painful experiences ever and I literally threw up on the table. Which was incredibly embarrassing. When it came to my adjustment Dr Rose felt how cold and shaky I was. She also noticed I was pale and texted my midwife. And they decided I should go to the hospital.

I am so thankful that someone recognized that I was seriously ill. I guess I got so used to pushing through the pain and brushing it off. So sick of annoying people with my complaints and questions that I ignored my own body and kept pushing through. Because hey I'm pregnant but all pregnant people deal with this so shut up and stop complaining and just do what has to be done. I had apparently lost the ability to advocate for myself.

I got wheeled up to triage and the first thing the nurse told me was, "I hate to break it to you, but back pain is a normal part of pregnancy. I had it, you have it and so does every other pregnant person ever." I listened to her tell me techniques to ease the "normal" back pain of pregnancy... And then there came the strong mama lion that had been pushed away by so many, too many dismissals by so many people who I don't even care about. "Excuse me I don't think you quite understand me. This pain is at a 9 or a 10. I may seem calm and collected because I am good about pain but on the inside I am in so much pain I can not stand it. And by the way have any of you even spoken to my Dr? The person who sent me here in the first place? Clearly she thinks that something serious is going on and I'm not just here because this is where I choose to spend my evenings." The nurse did not say anything again until she took my temp and realized that I had a 101.2 fever and that my heart rate was 150 and the baby's was 180+. "Oh looks like you and baby are tacky and have a fever. Maybe there is something going on here," she said and I wanted to punch her in her stupid bitch face.

I was admitted and didn't have to deal with that bitch again thankfully. The actual birthing staff was amazing and helpful and caring. But boy do those triage nurses suck. I mean really really suck.

Turned out I had a kidney infection. Which means that I also had a UTI for quite sometime that went unnoticed because I began to tell myself everything was normal normal normal. Because I let the opinions of others interfere with my well being, which I don't plan on doing again. So after 2 nights at the hospital I was released and sent home with antibiotics to finish up.

Moral of the story: fuck other people's opinions if you feel like something isn't right then something probably isn't right. And also that I need to slow down. I need to take care of myself and my baby girl better. It is extremely hard because Nick works soooo much and it sucks sooo bad that adding on extra for him to do when he comes home is horrible. My mom has been helping more which is amazing and I really appreciate but I have a really hard time excepting help. I feel like such a burden these days and I know it's not going to get any easier any time soon.

Despite all of the bad this week I am still thankful for my life. I have an amazing husband, a few totally awesome friends, a set of parents who want to see me happy, the most incredible sister to ever grace the planet and... The most important thing in my world, my growing happy active baby girl.

Some good moments...

Me and baby enjoyed the most delectable treat in the world together. 

Thinking about baby Arya and soon to be her best friend <3

Belly Pictures....

week 32

week 32

week 33

week 33

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30 & 31 Weeks Pregnant

Today I am 31 weeks pregnant! Wow.

Baby is as big as...

Weeks 30 & 31 were pretty similar. After weeks of seeing the chiropractor my hips are finally aligned! Rejoice!!! I can definitely feel the difference. I only have really bad pain when I'm on my feet for a long period of time or when I get up from bed or sitting. So now I only have to go once per week which is awesome because I only have 30 visits covered so I should be good as long as I keep going and don't let them get completely out of whack again.

 I'm really happy that I did not just accept what my Dr first told me about my pain and did my own research and got help. I could not imagine how much pain I would be in on a daily basis now that my bump is this big on top of a completely misaligned pelvis. Take my advice, if you feel like something isn't normal get a second opinion, it can't hurt.

Baby girl has been super active the past 2 weeks which is fun to watch and interact with.  She's been busy developing her brain more and accumulating more fat. Sounds totally rad in there.

I've been feeling really motivated the past 2 weeks, I guess I'm "nesting." I've been organizing and working more. I managed to finish a rough draft of my first paper of the term! I also dedicated some time to my art work these past two weeks....

Going to be split into 2 frames for Arya's room.

A few details left to do but I'm pretty proud of it!

My total pregnancy weight gain is now 30lbs! Whoa!! I'm actually not too concerned because I know that I'm getting the nutrition that I need and that I'm staying as active as I can. No stretch marks yet! But my belly is getting super duper itchy. I have to apply my belly oil 3+ times a day now. Also I don't know if everyone who had a navel piercing had this but the old piercing area is extraordinarily itchy and also sometimes red and burny feeling. It's not so bad that I think infection I'm guessing maybe the scar tissue just isn't stretching very easily?

Here are belly pics for these 2 weeks!

30 weeks

30 weeks

30 weeks. D'awww. 

31 weeks. Looking like my mama here.

31 weeks

31 weeks

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29 Weeks Pregnant & Reflections

I'm 29 weeks pregnant! WOOoooOOOOOooo!

Baby is the size of a...

This week has been pretty good! I can tell baby is much bigger she must of had a big growth spurt over week 29. Her movements are big and sometimes painful but stinking adorable. This week shes mostly just working on plumping up in there and her body is making some big strides in brain development right now.

Oh and I don't have gestational diabetes! Yay! Look out doughnuts and cider! Which brings me to....

Fall is coming! What does that mean for me? That a lot of my time is going to be looking like this...

I attended Master's school orientation this week and came home pumped and excited about the insane work load that I have ahead of me. I really enjoyed meeting some class mates and hearing about how they got to where they are. I was surprised by a lot of things. I learned at the orientation that out of the whole entire Education Masters School I was 1 of 6 people who were first generation graduates. Out of about 120 students. That made me really proud knowing that I was one of the few who came from a home of GEDs and ended up getting into the masters program of my dreams.

It reminded me how far I've come, how hard I've worked and how much I deserve it. I should never doubt myself or my capabilities because I've made it. And I've done it all on my own. My parents didn't know anything about college or the process or really why anyone should/would want to go. I'm proud of my teenage self for deciding the kind of future I wanted and going for it. The whole academic journey was filled with moments of doubt and uncertainty. But I didn't rely on anyone but myself to figure it out. I'm really proud of myself and I'm really looking forward to once again proving how determined and successful I can be. And not to mention being a good example for my daughter and providing a great life for my family.

Fall is my absolute favorite time of year. I'm soooo happy my daughter is lucky enough to be a fall baby like her momma. September makes me super sentimental. I start thinking of all of the amazing memories I have from childhood and as an adult in the autumn. The cider mill, carving pumpkins, long walks in cozy sweaters and crunchy leaves, cuddling under a blanket with candles lit and a crisp cool breeze seeping in through the open windows. I could go on forever and I can't wait to experience all of these things with my little one.

This week I've been super emotional! It's kind of out of control I've cried every single day, for happy and sad things. Or just because I can't get the lid off of a jar.... It's kind of hilarious. I've had what I guess you might refer as heart burn except it's really not that uncomfortable I'll just randomly have vomit come up my throat and into my mouth. No warning, no heaving, no fuss, it just comes right up. It doesn't taste great but I'm getting used to being a big giant gross mess. As far as my SPD goes this week has had it's ups and downs. I'm starting to handle the pain way better and it seems like the chiropractor has helped a lot but I have some really rough moments.

As far as fitness goes I've been doing my "exercises" and cleaning that's pretty much as far as it goes. I actually didn't gain any weight this week which I'm super happy about. Last week felt like a huge jump in weight so it was nice to maintain for a week. My belly is getting big and kind of in the way now. It's hard to get in and out of some bathroom stalls, sometimes I bump it on furniture or people so that's new.

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Maternity Photos

Maternity Photos Round 1

These were taken during week 28 by my very talented little sister Katrina Soucy.

Thank you so much Katrina I absolutely love them and can't wait to take even more in a few more weeks!

28 Weeks pregnant

28 weeks pregnant!!! 7 months pregnant!!! Yay!!! And baby Arya is as big as a....

Right now she's working on storing fat and perfecting her whole lung/breathing thing. She's had lots of hiccups this week so I imagine she's practicing swallowing quite a bit. Her moves are getting bigger and sometimes even startling! She'll do a big kick and it takes a minute for me to process what just happened. She seems to be moving up more now or just getting longer because she's pretty close to kicking my ribs most days.

Last Monday I took my 1 hour glucose test.

Which entails not eating for a while then drinking this lovely beverage within a five minute span and getting your blood drawn an hour later. I failed the test. When the nurse called to tell me I was pretty devastated I was already having an incredibly emotional day. My SPD was acting up really bad and I was crying over everything it seemed like. I managed to pull myself together long enough to go pick up my forms from the Drs office. After I got home I did some research on gestational diabetes and got even more freaked out. But hey at least I wasn't a sobbing mess.

I was ordered to take a 3 hour glucose test. Before a 3 hour glucose test you are asked to eat a diet of pretty much only carbohydrates for 3 days prior. Which didn't make sense to me at all. I guess it's supposed to get your body used to maxing out on it's ability to process carbs... I'm really unconvinced. Since my 3 hours glucose test happened today which is in my 29th week I'll post more about it then.

Things I would prefer to live without this week:

1. SPD pain
2. Nausea
3. Fatigue
4. Muscle spasms (every night this week!)

I feel like people might feel as though I'm not happy about being pregnant and that's just not true. I'm over the moon. I'm soo thankful to have this baby growing inside of me and I'm totally okay with all of the curve balls I'm getting thrown at me as long as it means that she is happy and healthy and in my arms soon. I'm perfectly okay with my quality of life being kind of crappy right now. I just wasn't expecting it at all. I don't know anyone who has had the nausea and food aversions and cramping that I had in the first trimester. I didn't know anyone who had SPD and I don't know anyone who failed the one hour glucose test and didn't end up with gestational diabetes.

When I got pregnant I did not expect to be in constant pain for weeks/months. I did not expect to be in agony getting up in the middle of the night or turning over. I feel like when I bring these things up because I need to talk about them sometimes people look at me as if I'm just a whiny undeserving idiot. And I don't think it's fair. When I talk about this stuff I'm looking for encouragement and possibly advice. Because I've never done this before and it is absolutely nothing like how I thought it would be.

Mostly I worry about the pain and things that I'm experiencing because I'm scared it's effecting her in a negative way. I love her more than anything at this point and I just want her to be okay. So if I seem whiny/complainy/ungrateful I'm not. I'm just freaked out and looking for some help. Thankfully I do have lots of supportive friends/family but I also have just as many people who are discouraging judgey mcjudgesters.

Since I haven't been moving around to much. I'm going to attribute that to my weight gain. I'm up a total of 25 lbs! I have started doing some SPD friendly exercises as of last night and I plan to do them every single night because I can't do much of anything else anyway.

I notice a big physical change this week my belly button has gone from a belly button to what Nick lovingly refers to as a, "cat butthole."

It's not that pretty but whatevs.

My belly seems to change shape everyday depending on how she's laying/what she's up to in there. But here's what it looked like one day this week...

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