This week baby is as big as a....
Can you believe it folks? As big as a weird looking fruit?
She feels super long recently her feets are always hanging out in my ribs or on my stomach or what I imagine is my stomach. This week she's coordinated her breathing and sucking motions. She also keep her pretty little eyes open when she's awake now. D'awwww.
So week 32 & 33 were full of exhaustion and pain and itching.
Week 32 was pretty great it was a little painful and a lot stressful as it was my second baby shower which was mom and sister funded but I had a crap ton of work to do for it. Thanks to Aud and Katrina we got everything done. But I definitely over did myself on the days leading up to the shower. So I wasn't surprised that the day after the shower I was in a lot of pain and super tired.
That Monday I was pushing through the pain as was expected of me and going on with my normal day to day responsibilities. Tuesday I woke up in worse pain but I figured I just pulled my back out and kept going and going. That is until my body physically wouldn't let me. The pain was getting worse and worse and I finally couldn't even get out of bed. That night was a cycle of me being in pain and tolerating it for about an hour then crying for a half an hour then taking a hot bath then falling asleep for 30 min then starting all over again. My mom came over the next morning to help me with the pets. But being the person I am I still ended up doing my dishes and some straightening even though I was in excruciating pain. I had a 12:30 chiropractic appt that day and could not wait to get some relief from what I thought was maybe me "overdoing it." When Katrina called at 11:30 to ask how I was doing she noticed that I was bawling my eye balls out. So she offered to drive me and after refusing her a few times I finally accepted.
When I got to the chiropractor she wanted me to get my massage first to relieve my pain. Bad idea. It was one of my most painful experiences ever and I literally threw up on the table. Which was incredibly embarrassing. When it came to my adjustment Dr Rose felt how cold and shaky I was. She also noticed I was pale and texted my midwife. And they decided I should go to the hospital.
I am so thankful that someone recognized that I was seriously ill. I guess I got so used to pushing through the pain and brushing it off. So sick of annoying people with my complaints and questions that I ignored my own body and kept pushing through. Because hey I'm pregnant but all pregnant people deal with this so shut up and stop complaining and just do what has to be done. I had apparently lost the ability to advocate for myself.
I got wheeled up to triage and the first thing the nurse told me was, "I hate to break it to you, but back pain is a normal part of pregnancy. I had it, you have it and so does every other pregnant person ever." I listened to her tell me techniques to ease the "normal" back pain of pregnancy... And then there came the strong mama lion that had been pushed away by so many, too many dismissals by so many people who I don't even care about. "Excuse me I don't think you quite understand me. This pain is at a 9 or a 10. I may seem calm and collected because I am good about pain but on the inside I am in so much pain I can not stand it. And by the way have any of you even spoken to my Dr? The person who sent me here in the first place? Clearly she thinks that something serious is going on and I'm not just here because this is where I choose to spend my evenings." The nurse did not say anything again until she took my temp and realized that I had a 101.2 fever and that my heart rate was 150 and the baby's was 180+. "Oh looks like you and baby are tacky and have a fever. Maybe there is something going on here," she said and I wanted to punch her in her stupid bitch face.
I was admitted and didn't have to deal with that bitch again thankfully. The actual birthing staff was amazing and helpful and caring. But boy do those triage nurses suck. I mean really really suck.
Turned out I had a kidney infection. Which means that I also had a UTI for quite sometime that went unnoticed because I began to tell myself everything was normal normal normal. Because I let the opinions of others interfere with my well being, which I don't plan on doing again. So after 2 nights at the hospital I was released and sent home with antibiotics to finish up.
Moral of the story: fuck other people's opinions if you feel like something isn't right then something probably isn't right. And also that I need to slow down. I need to take care of myself and my baby girl better. It is extremely hard because Nick works soooo much and it sucks sooo bad that adding on extra for him to do when he comes home is horrible. My mom has been helping more which is amazing and I really appreciate but I have a really hard time excepting help. I feel like such a burden these days and I know it's not going to get any easier any time soon.
Despite all of the bad this week I am still thankful for my life. I have an amazing husband, a few totally awesome friends, a set of parents who want to see me happy, the most incredible sister to ever grace the planet and... The most important thing in my world, my growing happy active baby girl.
Some good moments...
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| Me and baby enjoyed the most delectable treat in the world together. |
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| Thinking about baby Arya and soon to be her best friend <3 |
Belly Pictures....
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| week 32 |
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| week 32 |
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| week 33 |
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| week 33 |
