Busy Busy

I feel like time is passing so quickly and so slowly at the very same time. Quitting smoking is really really hard and it seems like the longer I go without out it, the more intense the craving is. I get suddenly hit with an intense urge to smoke and it lasts all freaking day. I have cheated a few times, but give a girl a break. I am physically and emotionally addicted to this garbage. Giving it up and all of the things that go along with it is insanity. Eating hefty amounts of food does take the edge off a big, but it's still there and I'm taking in extra calories and fat.

I'm just feeling really crappy about this situation right now.

In other news I have an interview on Thursday for a job that I really want. So hopefully that goes well amidst all of the changes I'm experiencing and all the crappy hours I've been working. 

Can you say Negative Nancy?

That's it! I've had enough! I quit!

Smoking has been something that I love to do for years now. There's nothing like the feeling of smoking a cigarette after a filling meal, sipping a latte, or taking that first sip of a beer after a long hard days work (I should be in advertising). Or if your me... Whenever your in the car, whenever someone calls, when you wake up in the morning. when you go to sleep at night, when you just found out some great news, when something really shitty just happened, or nothing happened and your just bored and don't have anything better.

I say no more! I'm calling bullshit on you Camel Lights! Yes you are soo delightful on most all of those occasions. Yes you were a symbol of my independence from an abusive relationship. Yes you've been through all of the good and bad times with me. There with me at my deepest darkest moments as well as joyful celebrations.

I have fooled myself into believing that I not only need cigarettes, I want them. After starting Bikram, straightening out my eating habits, as well as my life, I've realized something. I am strong and smart and beautiful and I have no greater desire than to live and be happy. I see so many life paths and options on the horizon and I really don't want my smokes to come with me.

For 5 years we've been bffs. But friends don't try to kill other friends.

I'm sure we'll meet on occasion through different points in my life. But I'm letting you go and taking back control. 

The Plateau

It's official! I'm over the weight loss plateau I've been working to get over since April! I can not believe it!

Height: 5'10 <---(I'm not so sure about this one anymore I feel taller!)
Weight: 176.6 lbs
Bust: 40
Waist: 31
Hips: 42

This was a hard week. I was ill or injured from Thursday through Sunday, so that meant no working out.... And all I wanted to eat was junk food. In fact that's all I want to eat right now too. Right now I'm craving chicken parmesan, bread sticks and salad from olive garden sooooooo bad right now.

 

I indulged sooo many cravings this week that I'm surprised I still saw weight loss. Plus getting under 177 was huge for me. It's the smallest I've been in two years. 

 

I'm soooo happy to finally have this crappy fat off of my body. I feel so much better everyday even when I do indulge it's generally not on high fat food. And I'm still getting cravings for veggies and fruits every day. I feel like my mind and my body have been sooo disconnected for so long, it's such an amazing thing when they start to work together. Every day I feel like I'm coming closer and closer to being the person I've wanted to be forever: confident, patient, caring and strong. Those are things that I've admired in others so much and it's exciting to think that I might actually be that person.

I think this may be the year I can finally fulfill my nerdy girl fantasy of being princess leia (think gold bikini) for Halloween. A girl can dream. 

namaste

<3

One Week Later.

And it's still hard but I like it. This past week I've been back on track with logging my food and exercise with the wonderful LoseIt app. And I've been to 3 Bikram Sessions....

Height: 5'10 <---(I'm not so sure about this one anymore I feel taller!)
Weight: 179 lbs
Bust: 41
Waist: 31
Hips: 42

So I've lost 3lbs (now I'm back to my pre Family Video weight), 1 inch off my waist and a half of an inch off of both my arms and thighs. So total 3lbs 3inches lost but I've gained sooo much this week.
I've gained the knowledge that I can preform eagle and love it, along with the fact that I hate hate hate camel and every time I enter the posture I immediately feel like I'm going to puke!

I'm also starting to gain stability and balance in my life. For a long time I've tended to be an all or nothing type of person. This whole year has been about moderation and boy has it been a struggle. But yoga puts things in perspective for me. I've been thinking a lot about time spent exercising in the past and how I hardly ever enjoyed it. Most of my time spent exercising was filled with thoughts of: when will this be over? what am I doing after? why does this hurt so much? will I ever be "in shape"? I'm learning to focus on the moment and experience things and not always worry or fantasize about what's coming next.

I've always worried or looked forward the future. I've had my life planned out for years. Graduate, go to college, go to grad school, get a high paying completely enjoyable job (yea I know now that that doesn't exist), buy a big beautiful house in the suburbs, go on vacations bi yearly, pop out a kid (or two)... Wow. I've learned that life doesn't work like that. Just because I take the appropriate measures to achieve these "goals" doesn't mean that things will work out perfectly, it doesn't mean that I'll be a happy person. After an intense Bikram session I have this amazing drive home with cool air on my face and a lot of time to think. And what I've been thinking is SCREW THE PLAN! I'm learning to enjoy the things I have and the special little moments that happen to me everyday.

Bikram is changing the way I feel, the way I look and most importantly the way I think. I feel like I can handle anything thrown my way, but for the time being I'm enjoying my increasingly more "zen" life.


Namaste  "the spirit in me respects the spirit in you"

<3

I'm Changing.

Although I've only been to a few sessions. Bikram has begun to infiltrate my mind and my body. I love waking up and feeling sore, but more than anything I love getting up every day and feeling good about my self. I've never felt so happy and empowered before. I've been able to get out of my own head and enjoy what's going on around me. I've been worrying less and feeling less anxiety. My car died on my way home from class this week. But I didn't panic or get upset, I just took it.
I feel so great and I'm  beginning to think that this class is about much more than physical fitness.

Going to hell and back

So I had my first session of Bikram yoga yesterday. But before I get into that I'm gonna give my starting stats.
Height: 5'10
Weight: 182 lbs
Bust: 41
Waist: 32 (yikes)
Hips: 42

Yes this is hard to admit to by the way. But I'm trying to put myself out there be held accountable. So this is this start. Every week I'm going to take another round of pictures and measurements. Not only will I be practicing Bikram but I will be adjusting my eating habits as well.

Sooo my first Bikram session...... It was insane! I got to the place super early signed up and got a tour. The decor is nice it sets the mood for meditation and reflection for sure. I was feeling excited and peaceful, until she showed me to the room I'd be trapped in for the next 90 or so minutes. I was hit with a moist intense heat. I don't think I've ever been outside in 105 degree weather the thought of forcing myself to practice intense yoga in that kind of environment is daunting. I tucked my purse away in a cubby, laid my mat out and began to sweat.
Yes there I was laying quietly on a mat sweating my ass off and the work hadn't even begun. After an intense breathing exercise filled with ridiculous noises, we began our 2 sets of 26 poses.

In case your wondering no they are not all easy to do and when you add the heat some of them are down right impossible. Within the first pose I noticed sweat running down my legs. after 15 minutes I was officially soaked. Of course my immediate reaction was to feel embarrassed but as I looked around the room experienced yogis were sweating just as much as I was. After 30 minutes of poses I took my first break because the room began to appear darker and darker with each blink of my eye.... I was convinced I would pass out if I did not lay down. But the thing about laying down in that kind of heat and humidity is that it really doesn't help that much. I jumped in and out of poses for the following 40 minutes. I got hit by what they call "the yoga train" at 70 minutes all that I wanted to do was run away and never ever ever come back. I felt like I was going to puke and die in that room it was horrible and painful. And I just kept thinking these people have to be fucking insane to ever want to come back here. Instead of focusing on my breathing and whatever else your supposed to focus on in during yoga, my head filled with images of me breaking through the nearby window and breathing in fresh cool air.

But I didn't do that. I didn't run out I didn't give up even though I felt completely ill and miserable. Yes I didn't finish all 26 postures because frankly it's my first time and I'm not an idiot. I'm going to listen to my body do what I know I can do, I will push my body but not to the point of injury.

Walking out of that studio was the best feeling ever. It was cool and pleasant outside. The panic of dying a sweaty yoga induced death vanished. I felt proud and stronger than ever. After coming home I felt peaceful and in control and just really really great. Showering after that was amazing I've never sweat so much in my life. It was horrible and awesome at the same time.
This morning I woke up glowing and sore and slimmer. And I honestly can't wait to go back tomorrow.


Namaste

<3

stop being lazy

So since I've started this new job at family video, I've virtually cut out all forms of exercise. I've been exhausted and overwhelmed. I'm having a really hard time going from being a housewife to a workin' woman. But I can not take it anymore. Most mornings before I would wake up and admire the progress I'd made and the new emerging muscle tone from the hard work outs I'd been doing.
I miss this so much. Most days now I wake up and pray that I haven't gained ten pounds from eating fast food or spending my free time cleaning and lounging on the couch. I'm sick of those terrifying 15 seconds I spend waiting for the number to load on the scale or hoping that my pants still fit the same as they did a month ago.
I feel it must be a sign that I signed on to groupon today and the first thing that came up was a $39 special for 2 unlimited month of Bikram Yoga in Grosse Pointe. I heard the message load and clear, STOP BEING A LAZY ASS AND EXERCISE!
Another message came along with it, see I've always been soooooo self conscious about exercising in front of other people especially strangers who are more in shape than I. You may find this hard to believe, but I am an extremely competitive person. I love to win and I hate hate hate to lose. I like to know that I am the best at what I'm doing in any given situation. So when I think of going to a fitness class, I tend to immediately imagine myself falling over or tripping or just sweating my balls of (yes growing them first then literally sweating them off) while tons of tiny people who are in great shape make me look and feel like an ass. 
I've been talking about signing up for one forever but with today's deal I could not find an excuse as to why I couldn't do it. It's extremely affordable, it's not too far away, they have a variety of hours and it only take up an hour and a half of my time to potentially burn 1200 calories.
Bikram yoga is neat. It take place in a room that is a minimum of 102 degrees and it's supposed to to great things for you health, flexibility, fitness and of course the scale.
I am excited that I will not be able to make up excuses not to go because I used hard earned cash to pay for it and I'm not letting it go to waste. I'm aiming for Monday 9am to be my first class. I'm planning on taking before pictures Sunday and blogging my progress for the next two months, just in case my poor self esteem or laziness creeps up on me. Sharing my experience will (hopefully) motivate me to keep with it and get back to my active lifestyle!
Much of the blogging inspiration came from  dailyrebecca. She's starting "weigh in wednesdays" and I'm gonna try to do something similar to that.


<3

Life Isn't Fair

I haven't had much time to blog because I started a brand new job and my poor poor husband has been working insane hours (4:30pm-4:30 am). The adjustment has definitely been hard, I'm pretty certain I've never been so tired and so happy at the same time.
After finally coming to the realization that, "life just isn't fair," I've had so much more peace in my life. My parents were the kind of people who answered their kids when they asked why. This seemed like a good idea at the time, but come to find out most people are told from a very young age that life isn't fair. Although psychologically you would think that proper explanation of events or consequences would lead to a more well adjusted human being, well that's just plain wrong. I applaud the parents out there who every once in a while couldn't bear to explain every little detail to a screaming child and just answered with a strong, "life isn't fair, get over it." Finding this fact out at the age of 22 has been hard. Because most of my life has been working towards a very specific goal, I guess I never really stopped to think what happens after I reach it? I just assumed that with a degree I can step right out of the class room and into a meaningful career. But that is not how things work at all. This has been a really trying time for me, but I feel like I've grown and learned so much in the past few months that maybe all this pain and suffering will lead to something better, eventually....

So I started what most would consider a "mediocre" job. I am a sales associate at Family Video. Turns out I love being a sales associate at Family Video and I'm actually really freaking good at it! I get to wear cute clothes to work! And talk about one of my favorite things all day! And I earn commission when I do a good job! And my co-workers are actually nice! And so are my managers!! At first I felt kind of crappy about myself for getting a degree to work at family video. But I shouldn't be! I'm young, I'm making money and I'm having a blast at work. Honestly what more could I ask for? I feel good about this situation and I'm happy.

I'm a big girl now!

Sooooooo I just spent an hour cleaning up excess grout around our gorgeous slate tiles that we purchased and put up and grouted 2 years ago! 2 years! It's hard to believe we have been in this house for 2 years and I still haven't quite figured out how to clean it efficiently, I have made strides especially in the last 9 months. So 2 very short years of numerous side projects and "lets do that next weekend, what's the rush?" later it's finally getting done. And all despite the fact that I have a nasty little stomach bug at the moment, which by the way really couldn't have come at a better time. It's funny how seemingly disgusting and horrible things can actually be a little blessing in disguise. Since my return from Vegas I've had a really hard time getting back on track with my diet and portion control and as a result gained a few pounds. So I'm happy embracing this bug as a means to shrink my extended stomach back to how it should be.
Now the exciting big girl part, I finally got a big girl interview! And it came from down the block and in the alley behind left field. I applied to a ton of jobs at St John hospital in October of 2010, back before I had even considered not attending graduate school, way back when I had no concept of what a resume should look like, and before I even knew what a cover letter was. Well I got a call yesterday to come in and interview for one of the many (no longer stored in my memory) jobs that I applied for. The woman I'm interviewing with did inform me that it was in patient care, so I looked up available jobs and saw the most likely candidate. If this is the job it would consist of showing patients to their rooms tending to their guests and family and basically being a nurse's bitch. I don't think I've even been so excited to take on the responsibility of being someone's bitch.

Hopefully not this nurse's bitch.

<3

Things are looking up

So I had an interview on Monday with family video... It went really great and so I moved on to take their employee "clerical" test. That test was daunting. I'm happy I still remember how to divide fractions and and work out story problems, so the math part was a no brainer. Then comes the spelling and word matching. I learned that I heavily rely on spellcheck. I have no idea what I got wrong on this test but I was definitely unsure about the spelling of a lot of words on the page. Also I am thankful that I took the GRE less than 6 months ago because a majority of the definition matching questions were straight out of my GRE prep books. So I did well on the test and now I'm just waiting for my final interview. Working for Family Video is not my dream job, but I've learned after doing some research on them that within a few years I could make just as much or even more than a job in my field. I'm anxious to get to work and earn some money for my household. But for now I'm enjoying the luxuries of keeping house and trying to make my husband's life easier. Which is why I just had to bust out some baked goods today.


So here is my Banana Bread recipe!


2 cups flour
1 teaspoon baking soda
1/4 teaspoon salt
1/2 cup butter (I always use olivio to cut calories and bad fats)
3/4 cup brown sugar
2 eggs
2 mashed large bananass
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/8 teaspoon cinnamon
1 pinch of nutmeg

Preheat oven 350 degrees

Mix dry ingredients in large bowl, set aside.

Cream together butter and brown sugar.

Add remainder of ingredients into the butter/sugar mix.

Once thoroughly combined stir wet ingredients into dry ingredients just enough to moisten.

If you over stir the bread will turn out dense and drier than it should.

Bake for an hour then allow to cool in pan for 10-15 min.

I've figured out that if you can make 10 slices a loaf, it's about 217 calories a slice!

Now I'm buying bananas every week just in the hopes that no one will eat them and they'll over ripen and end up baked in a delicious bread.

<3

Where did my brain go?

So back from Vegas and jumping back into the job search again, I am having pretty much not luck when it comes to getting an interview in my field, but I do have an interview today at Family Video. It's not ideal, but it will hold me over until I find my real job.
Before I left for Vegas I definitely got my shit together when it came to perfecting my resume, job hunting every day, and writing great cover letters in a second nature type of way. Today I noticed that one of the organizations that I've been trying to volunteer/work for finally had a new job opening. I'm happy I didn't try to wing that cover letter. Looking back on how focused I was before my trip is amazing, I read my last cover letter written 2 days before we left and couldn't even recognize it as my own. Apparently too much booze, sun, and food has had a serious effect on my brain.....


I am desperate to get back to where I was.


<3

Red Velvet Cupcakes

So I found this bomb recipe on AllRecipes 
 I then altered the ingredients to my taste and topped them off with a little fresh fruit. I am in love with this recipe especially the frosting I literally licked the bowl.

Ingredients

• 2 1/2 cups flour
• 1/3 cup unsweetened cocoa powder
• 1 teaspoon baking soda
• 1/2 teaspoon salt
• 1 cup butter, softened
• 2 cups sugar
• 4 eggs
• 1 cup sour cream
• 1/2 cup milk
• 1 (1 ounce) bottle Red Food Coloring
•   3 teaspoons Vanilla Extract

• Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting:
• 1 (8 ounce) package cream cheese, softened
• 1/4 cup butter, softened
• 2 tablespoons sour cream
• 3 teaspoons Vanilla Extract
• 1 (16 ounce) box confectioners' sugar

1. Preheat oven to 350 degrees F. Mix flour, cocoa powder, baking soda and salt in medium bowl. Set aside.
2. Beat butter and sugar in large bowl with electric mixer on medium speed 5 minutes or until light and fluffy. Beat in eggs, one at a time. Mix in sour cream, milk, food color and vanilla. Gradually beat in flour mixture on low speed until just blended. Do not overbeat. Spoon batter into 30 paper-lined muffin cups, filling each cup 2/3 full.
3. Bake 20 to 25 minutes or until toothpick inserted into cupcake comes out clean. Cool in pans on wire rack 5 minutes. Remove from pans; cool completely. Frost with Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting.
4. Vanilla Cream Cheese Frosting: Beat cream cheese, softened, butter, sour cream and  Pure Vanilla Extract in large bowl until light and fluffy. Gradually beat in confectioners' sugar until smooth. 

And The Job Search Continues....

So I've been stuck in a rut thinking that my resume was fine, my cover letters were fine, everything I was doing was great but people just didn't have any interest in hiring me. I was disillusion . I finally sent my resume to someone who was willing to be honest with me about it to help me out instead of just saying, "yeah this is great, I have no idea why you don't already have a job!" Unfortunately I read the message about how bland and unattractive my resume was right as I was trying to sleep. So I'm thinking I'll forget about it and wait until morning to work on it, but after an hour of trying to fall asleep I worked myself up to a full debilitating panic mode. I was freaking out. I'm thinking crap I sent this awful thing to all of these jobs that I really want! Poor me! What can I do about this?!
I am an idiot. I thought that for some reason my resume would stand out in a pile of hundreds because ya know I'm me I'm great I am qualified I am passionate. I realized that my cover letter and resume were definitely not a very good reflection of my awesomeness and what I can really offer an organization. I also realized how many dummies are out there like me searching through careerbuilder, indeed, michigantalent, ect. We are wasting our time. It is hard even with excellent credentials to be discovered.
I am so happy that I don't feel like one of those assholes anymore. Thanks to an excellent BLOG, a no nonsense friend, and the internet in general I am now miles closer to my career. I honestly don't know what I was thinking. My career is one of the most important things in the world to me and now I'm finally awake, alert and ready to fight for it! 

Emo

For some reason everything has been hitting me really hard lately. I feel instantly guilty about very little things, people's comments have been throwing me into some really negative thought patterns, even physically I feel like I'm feeling things more than usual. I don't know what's up with me, but I've been feeling seriously weird and I don't like it.

On the brighter side I had a seriously fantastic weekend with my hubby & my friends. Nick & I tried out geocaching on friday, we kinda failed but we are definitely intrigued and going to try again. Saturday started off a little rough, but ended up being a great time. We went to the gun range where I finally got to shoot MY new gun, I absolutely love it! The kick-back is no where near as intense as the hubster's 9mm, which resulted in my actually hitting what I was aiming for most of the time,  I bragged about this all day, I literally could not contain my excitement!

After all the bang bang bang, and a little yard work, we joined Aud in a game of Pandemic (super nerdy board game) that we won for the first time ever! Unfortunately Nick had to work in the morning which meant he left early but then us girls decided on a spur of the moment girls night, which featured booze, make-up, curling irons, and prom dresses. I was skeptical at first, but I have to admit it ended up being a blast!

Mother's Day went pretty well my mom cooked us an awesome southern style breakfast from her mother's old recipes. It was scrumptious! Then she went went out for the day and I watched Blue Valentine with my sister. I highly recommend this movie, I really enjoyed the point of view and the realistic romantic story line. I had been waiting for this movie to come to dvd for months, the two actors lived together for the entirety of the film, it makes you wonder what might be a little more than acting.
My house is clean today which is really comforting, and to top that off I'm making a sort of open faced chicken pot pie. Tomorrow I'll add the recipe!

<3

the goings on

So yesterday was cinco de mayo, yay! Not... I was officially diagnosed with a severe case of TMJ by my brand new dentist who has one of the most bizarre dental practices ever. It is located in a renovated Victorian style house and the inside resembled a country cottage, plus there was an adorable cockier spaniel  running around the office. The dentist himself was pretty impressive he is not only a dentist but loves to dable in neuroscience and appears to be working on a self help book.

O and can I mention that the dental hygienist was pregnant, o and 13 people I know are also expecting. What is going on? I don't really know that many people but somehow 10% of the people that I know are knocked up     ( or have knocked someone up).

What is going on? Is this the age that everyone (married or not) decides to throw contraceptive to the wind and reproduce? Most of the pregnancies are not planned, or at least that's what these people claim. It just boggles my mind. How can it be so easy to get pregnant while supposedly taking precautions to prevent the pregnancy. Extremely healthy couples only have a 25% chance of becoming pregnant each month when they are actively trying, so it doesn't seem to add up to me. I've been "sexually active" for  8 years and have managed not to even begin to grow a fetus even though I've experienced a few slip ups. This is just blowing my mind!
In other not so pleasant news, I still haven't gotten a single call back for an interview and I've applied to ton of jobs. I thought that college was a good investment in a future career, but I'm starting to think that this may be some profitable lie that I and many other high school graduates are suckered into believing. I wouldn't trade my college experience or the many skills & facts I've learned, but come on. I thought that a degree meant something, I thought it meant I wouldn't have to worry about being able to get a full time job where I make enough money to get by. I thought it meant I could be selective and have a career that brings me a sense of worth, and is also monetarily worth something. I can't help but feel like a sucker, I'm coming out of 5 years of stress, anxiety, likely thousands of pages of reading, panic about assignments and exams, a sometimes stressful commute, sacrifice of social life, and of course a giant pile of debt, basically empty handed. I'm hoping that this is just me overreacting, I'm sure within the next 3 months I will find a way to make a living, but will it be a job that satisfies my need to help the community, will it be interesting and challenging? I'm leaning towards no. I hope I feel like an idiot a month from now when I'm starting a wonderful job that has meaning and look back at this pessimistic blabber and laugh.



Hoping & Dreaming

<3

...

I've been less than a "domestic diva" lately, so I decided to go all out today. I actually put make-up and jewelry on today ++++. Then went out and got baking supplies & cleaned most of my house. I got this great recipe from Budget Bytes one of my favorite food blogs in the world. The Lemon Spice Cake is actually only 155 Calories a slice! So it's diet friendly. I altered the recipe a bit so here it is, with a few mediocre photos I took with my mediocre IPhone camera...

1.5 cups	all-purpose flour
1 cup	granulated sugar
1 tsp	baking soda
1 tsp	cinnamon
1 tsp	ground ginger
1/2 tsp	nutmeg
1/2 tsp	ground cloves
1/2 tsp	salt
1 med	lemon
1 Tbsp	vegetable shortening, oil or butter
1 tsp	apple cider vinegar
1 cup	water
1 cup	powdered sugar

That's the original recipe, I added 1 tsp of vanilla to both the cake mix and the frosting....

STEP 1: Preheat your oven to 350 degrees. In a large bowl, combine the flour, granulated sugar, baking soda, cinnamon, nutmeg, ginger, salt, cloves and lemon zest. Stir until everything is well combined.

STEP 2: Make two wells in the dry ingredients and place the cider vinegar in one and shortening,oil or butter in the other (melt the shortening or butter first). Pour the water over everything and stir just until everything is wet. There may still be lumps but that is okay, just make sure there are no large pockets of dry stuff on the bottom.

STEP 3: Pour the batter into a loaf pan or 8x8 baking dish that has been sprayed with non-stick spray. Cook for 30-40 minutes or until a toothpick inserted in the middle comes out clean. The batter will be more shallow in a square baking dish and will therefore cook faster than in a loaf pan. Keep an eye on the top, if it starts to crack, it is probably done. Let cool on a wire rack.

STEP 4: While the cake is cooling, make the lemon glaze. Place the powdered sugar in a small bowl and stir in the juice from the lemon. Depending on how much juice is in your lemon, you may not need all of it. Wait until the cake has cooled before pouring on the glaze or else the heat will cause the glaze to slide right off. 

                                                           Mixed Dry Ingredients

                          I made 3 wells, one for butter, one for apple cider vinegar, one for vanilla extract

                                                Added all the water and used a mixer, because I hate lumps

                                            Before I popped them into the oven....

                                                        After baking.... Yum!

                                                      Use the left over lemon to make your glaze...

                                                 whisk it to eliminate lumps...

  I topped mine with strawberries because I had them on hand, and a mix of lemon and strawberries makes my heart melt...


I made 3 loafs one for me, one for mom and dad and one for Aud. I'm sure they'll enjoy them and I can't wait to try mine. This recipe was pretty easy and quick, but I'm impatient and hate waiting for my cakes to cool. I also learned that I hate hate hate zesting 3+ lemons in a row my hands hurt : ( but I think it will be well worth it when I stuff this deliciousness in my mouth.


Way to go domestic MO!

<3

BAMF

Yesterday was a big and exciting day for me. Although I am not a "gun nut" my husband is trying his hardest to convert me to one. We went to the gun & knife show at Gibraltar Trade Center... I hate that place with a passion, it is a hoarder's paradise. I absolutely hate hate hate clutter as well as terribly tacky & useless things, so generally I aim to stay away from that place. But my hubby found a separate entrance so I didn't have to deal with most of the toothless/inbred looking people or infinite boxes full of vhs' and miracle hair grow formulas. The last time I went to this place a just about had an anxiety attack, a combination of pms, empty stomach, and irrational thoughts sent me running out the door. Luckily this time went much smoother and I am now the proud owner of...

I am very excited to go to the range tomorrow and see what this baby can do.

In other news I am cooking a delicious dinner today which I have been craving literally every day since the last time I prepared it. It's amazing....

Pulled Pork
Pork Shoulder (mine's 5 lbs and I know it'll be gone by the end of the night)
2- 12 oz bottles of Root Beer 
1/2- tbsp paprika
1/2- tbsp chili powder
salt & pepper to taste

1/2- bottle of barbeque sauce (<3 Stubbs)
2- tbsp honey

Directions: Put pork in slow cooker (after rinsing) pour both bottle of root beer over the meat as well as the spices. Set it on low for 5-6 hours (depending on the poundage). Once the meat is thoroughly cooked, remove it from heat for about 10min so that it's cool enough for you to pull. I usually just keep it on a plate so that I can pull the meat right back into the slow cooker. once it's all pulled toss the meat gently in barbeque sauce and honey. You can serve it right away but I keep the slow cooker on the warm setting for 30min-1hour to let the flavors of the honey and barbeque sauce soak in.

<3
















 

a good-ish day

Today started off very well. I received my brand new stella & dot order...

Then did a bunch of stella & dot business-y stuff. I was feeling great, then I attempted to go home and start to get my super clean on... O wait I forgot my house key! So go to my friend katies play with adorable 3 week old puppies (joyousness). That made things better and randomly my friend who house sitted for me months ago still had a copy of my house key so she let me in. Then I started cooking some delicious spicy peanut-butter chicken...
Screwed up the sauce recipe and it ended up separating but was delicious. Now enjoying a girls night, playing euchre and talking people into buying/signing up for stella & dot. Whew quick summary of my great, but annoying day.




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Yesterday...

Yesterday marked the last day of school work for likely many years. I have finally finished my BA Psychology degree after 5 long years and I am super excited to be done! But now what? Now I'm starting down a seemingly long hard road to find my dream job with a bachelors degree. In the mean time I'm going to be "enjoying" unemployment by cooking, cleaning, gardening, and trying to look beautiful and productive while doing it. Since I am likely going to have quite a bit of free time on my hands I'm starting this blog for something to do, a way to document my struggles and successes, and sharing my experiences (and recipes) with those who are interested! 

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